Hi, my name’s Rochelle and I am the founder of The Cheer Collective, a goal setting app for women, designed to help us kick our goals and support each other along the way. That’s my passion project (aka a side hustle, i think, only it isn’t generating any revenue so, doesn’t quite qualify as a SH ;-)). For my full time ‘proper’ job (the one that pays the bills), I work in Tech. I’m from Salford in the UK but I live in Sydney with my Fiance and my dog. I’ve been in Australia for 10 years and I LOVE it. More about me and why I do what I do in a later blog but for now following on from Friday’s lack of motivation post….here’s how we got here (and by here, I mean writing this blog!).
I started to write a new instagram post to, well to thank you guys for all the messages of support that I’d received following my post about lacking in motivation and it appears I had a lot to say…too much for a post (FYI you only get 2200 characters on an instagram post. I discovered this after I got the old “your post is too long” or whatever the little red error message says.) Anyway, well I couldn't delete any text ‘cos I didn't want to miss out any important bits and so before I knew it, I had a blog….hahaha! So grab a cuppa, or a wine and get comfy girls….Jokes, it's not that long ;-)
How it started...
I started this year so grateful for my life in Australia and so proud of everything that I’d built. I was so excited and motivated and ready to go into 2023 all guns blazing. I was pumped for my new job, The Cheer Collective and to plan the wedding of our dreams with my fiancé.
And then I got sick.
The reality is, a quick fly in fly out visit to the UK over Christmas and New Year after a pretty eventful and stressful year, left me run down. I got the flu. And no matter how much rest, vitamins, cold and flu tablets, I just couldn’t shift it. 9 days later, I finally started to feel a bit better but boy was I flat. I just didn’t have the energy or the drive I had before I got sick. Don’t get me wrong, I was showing up every day but a lot later than I usually would, and everything felt so hard, like it was all just too much effort. And I mean everything; work, Cheer, exercise…the lot. Actually weekends were great, it was just in the week where I couldn’t seem to get out of first gear. Which isn’t like me. No matter what I did, I just didn’t feel motivated.
I’m very aware that you can’t be positive and motivated all the time and it’s so important to recognise how you feel, rest when you need to, listen to your body and even have a good cry when you need it too. But I also think that you shouldn’t stay in that space for too long. Feel how you feel and process it and then make a plan to move forward. If I was ever upset as a little girl, my mum would tell me to go into the utility room in our little terraced house and to have a good cry and shout and she’d want to hear me from the kitchen (god knows what the neighbours thought, the walls were so paper thin). When I came out, she’d say “OK, so what are we going to do about this? '' I always felt so much better and in a place where I could actually think of what to do and I didn't feel as upset. Baring in mind, this was just because someone had either invited someone else for tea and not me or just a little fall out with friends, nothing life changing or serious but I’ve held on to that since then. And so now, with the serious stuff, I'll cry, take some time to process how I feel and sit with it for as long as I need to and when I'm ready, make a plan. The problem here was, I was just sitting with this feeling, stagnant and not able to move or even think about making a plan. I’ve since learnt this is quite common and typically referred to as inertia.
When I posted how I was feeling on Friday, that was after a couple of weeks of feeling that way and I guess I just needed some help. I was and still am completely overwhelmed with all of the messages and support that came flooding though. Your messages gave me the “umph” to move my ass and go for a walk.
Rather than listening to music (my usual go to) I put a podcast on: A simple hack to achieve maximum happiness with Mo Gowdat from Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett. I picked that one because it’s 13 minutes long and anything longer than 20…well, I just drift off and don’t really listen.
In this edition it talks about your brain being a muscle and the more positive thoughts you introduce, the more positive you will be and the more negative thoughts you introduce the more negative you’ll be. I get that's pretty obvious. But it also says that for every negative thing that happens, think of the same event but with 99 positive outcomes. Now we're talking here, being late for work kind of stuff. Little negative things that can happen through the day and compound to the point where your cups empty and you’re losing your shit over a towel being left out. Please tell me that's not just me??
It was then I realised, since I came back from being sick, my work life has been chaotic. It’s been so consuming that I’ve felt like I couldn’t breathe. Every day, so upset and worried about layoffs and redundancies and so much heartache, grief and loss.
I realised when on that walk listening to that 13 minute podcast that it wasn’t enough that my weekends were great, the week was just too much. It overshadowed the weekend and as soon as I thought my cup was full and I could handle Monday, my cup was empty again.
How it's going...
It was your messages of support and encouragement that picked me up, gave me the drive to go for that walk and listen to the podcast and it was listening to that podcast that I realised the one thing I’d stopped doing since I was sick….writing in my gratitude journal (aka a notepad from Coles). Every day for as long as I can remember I write three things down that I’m most grateful for that day. But I haven’t done that for so long. I came home and filled the page with things that I’m grateful for. Top of the list, (after my amazing fiancé), YOU. My cheer squad. This exact reason, you girls cheering me on that day, is why I started The Cheer Collective. To cheer us up on the shit days and cheer us on, on the good days. It’s great setting goals but you can’t do it alone all the time. Sometimes you need a lift, you need a friendly face, a smile, words of encouragement and you need to feel supported. On Friday, you cheered me up so much and you cheered me on to move, to get going, and my goodness, do I feel so much better for it.
Every day since Friday, I've filled my journal (aka a notepad from Coles) with things that I'm grateful for at that moment. I FILL the page. 5 days later and I feel such a shift in myself; I feel motivated for work, for Cheer, AND I even went to bootcamp this morning for the first time in god knows how long. I know it’s only 5 days, but I genuinely think filling that book every day with all of the things I'm grateful for, is making me feel more positive about all the other stuff. If you’re feeling shitty, unmotivated, a bit flat or just meh, I highly recommend grabbing a pad, a piece of paper, and filling the page with everything in your life that you are grateful for. Make it a daily ritual and just see how you shift over a few days…If you’re like me and have a rubbish memory and can sometimes forget, I’ve created a Gratitude Goal in The Cheer Collective app that’ll give us a little reminder every day.
So, thank you for reading this far, for being the best cheer squad a girl could wish for and for bringing me back to centre. You’ve reminded me why I do what I do and given me the motivation to move and continue building this incredible community of goal getters. If you haven't joined our community, you can follow our insta page, like our Facebook page and download our app on the App Store or Google Play.
With love and cheers,
R