I saw a video on instagram today by a woman named Sam Reuter. In the video she talks about her relationship with her best friend and describes her as her soul mate. She said two things in the video that really resonated with me.
1. As women we are taught to prioritise our relationships with men
2. The women in my life have shown up in ways that are irreplaceable
It got me thinking that yes, from a young age we are taught to prioritise men; our relationships with them and also just them in general. As little girls, we're told to be polite and to act like a "lady". You can't be too loud or too "boisterous" but don't be too shy either. Make sure you make an effort, look pretty and well presented and put some makeup on, but not too much and make sure your skirt isn't too short. Stand up for yourself but don't be cheeky and certainly don't answer back. Make sure you speak up and you have an opinion, just as long as it's the same as theirs. You know. We have ALL been there.
I often felt like I was trying to be someone that I thought they wanted me to be. Even the men where I didn't need to do that, like my dad. He's the best person in the world and has always loved me for who I am but when I was 9, I came home from school and I wanted to impress him so much, I told him I'd made the football team. I hadn't. He was so happy when I said it. It was like for a moment we had this incredible common ground and when he asked me what position, I said the only one I knew, "goalkeeper". I didn't have a clue about football and so quickly came clean in floods of tears and said to my dad "I just wanted to make you happy, I'm sorry that I lied". He hugged me so tight and said that I make him happy every day just by being me and I didn't need to play or even like football if I didn't want to...Needless to say I didn't. And that was okay.
"The women in my life have shown up in ways that are irreplaceable" Sam Reuter.
I'm saying this because if I think back to then and even now, I've never felt like I had to be anyone else but me with any of the women in my life. Ever. I can show up however I feel and it always feels okay to do so. It feels safe. Safe to be who I am with no judgement or pretence. The women in my life are my biggest inspirations, my biggest support, my anchors and my soul mates. They really have shown up in ways that are irreplaceable. They are the light I need on the dark days and they are my biggest cheerleaders on the great days. They make me believe in myself and believe anything is possible. The soul chats, the real talk, the laughs, oh the laughs...they're enough to keep your cup full forever.
Here's to you...
So on this International Women's Day I'm thanking all of the women in my life and I'm celebrating you; my mum, my grandma, my soul mates, my Cheer Collective squad, my family, friends and colleagues. Thank you for always being there, for allowing me to be all of me, all of the time.
Let's continue to celebrate each other, to #embraceequity, to prioritise ourselves and each other and lets continue to show all the little girls out there that she can be loud, she can be quiet, she can dress up or she can dress down. She just needs to be herself. And my favourite line from my favourite show, lets show her that "maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just there to have fun with".
Love and Cheers,
Rochelle